id be glad to
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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