they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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