how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
