I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
