i just wanna soil my oats bro
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
