She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
