it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
