my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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