Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
