i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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