what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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