our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
