hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
