i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
