So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
