he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
