You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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