She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
