Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize