so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
