so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
