How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
