she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
