office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
