I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
