People in love make me want to vomit
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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