Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
