im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
