Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
