yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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