I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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