I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
