she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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