what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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