It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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