Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
