I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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