We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
