If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
