for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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