I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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