I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
