"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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