let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
