moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
