Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
