she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
