You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
