Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
