Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
